(in progress): a life

The Last Post (Here)

2009-01-07T12:45:00.000-08:00

It's a new year, and I'm abandoning this blog for good. Although I am not abandoning blogging, I will just be using my own website blog. All your links can update with http://www.jonathanball.com/?cat=3. Do it now!

Chinese Democracy

2008-11-28T15:09:00.000-08:00

The day came and went. Chinese Democracy exists. The best review of the album is by Chuck Klosterman, writing for The Onion:

I've maintained a decent living by making easy jokes about Axl Rose for the past 10 years, but what's the final truth? The final truth is this: He makes the best songs. They sound the way I want songs to sound. A few of them seem idiotic at the beginning, but I love the way they end.

The Best Thing Ever

2008-11-26T20:58:00.000-08:00

The jury is in agreement, and this is the best thing ever:

And so is this:

And this:

My Fifteen Seconds of Fame

2008-11-26T20:54:00.000-08:00

I am in the news (kind-of), the Okanagan College News anyway. I have copied the full article for your reading displeasure:

Kevin McPherson signs book deals

English professor Kevin McPherson signed two book deals and will see his first book published in December 2009. Inside Okanagan College asked Kevin to provide details of both books.

“The first will be called, The Words of the Book, and it’s experimental poetry based on the King James Version of the Holy Bible. I co-created it with a real jerk of a poet in Calgary named Jonathan Ball, and it’s been accepted for publication by a press in Toronto called BookThug. Expect to see it December 2009.

“The second book, titled rhapsodomancy, collects various visual poems from my creative MA thesis. It is set for a Spring 2010 release with Coach House Books, also in Toronto.”

Here's looking at you, kid.

2008-11-18T17:03:00.000-08:00

This is a blog update just for Peter Norman, my only fan/reader of this blog. I am sorry to be away for so long. I am slowly shifting my blog over to my website, www.jonathanball.com, but it's still in need of a redesign and under general construction as you'll see.

However, the site has a few blog posts:
- on a Coldplay video
- on a grant I applied for, to complete a graphic novel

So hopefully that makes up, slightly, for my lack of updates here.

In general I have been busy... working on the thesis, of course, got word that the poetry book I co-wrote with kevin mcpherson eckhoff, The Words of The Book, which comprises 1% of the King James Bible with added poetic commentary, is due out December 2009. I've got three other book-length poetry manuscripts DONE and waiting to be published, all sitting at various presses. Two more machine-related poetry books (a "Machine Trilogy" of sorts, The Words of The Book is the second installment) and then one book of playscripts that would be impossible to perform (kind of Calvino-esque prose poems). Now I'm mostly trying to get the fiction off the ground. And teach my horror course.

Oh, and Peter, you will be happy to know that I ordered the Joyce Carol Oates book you recommended, but it hasn't come in yet. Other readers who are not Peter: you might prefer to check out the always-funnyish Haiku Horoscopes.

Wow.

2008-10-07T08:53:00.000-07:00

It is stunning that only today are the Conservatives slated to unveil their election platform... one week away from election day, AFTER the debate, AFTER the early polls have opened and closed... people have already gone in and voted to support this government, despite its complete lack of any platform. Absolutely ridiculous. ESPECIALLY considering that this is the current government in power that we are talking about. Such irresponsibility seems like it should be illegal.

Stephen King on novels in the 21st century

2008-05-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

novels are still the best entertainment option. Even a hardcover is cheaper than two tickets to the local multiplex, especially once you throw in gas, parking, and babysitting. Also, a book lasts longer and there are no ads. Need more? No tiresome ratings system to keep you out if you're under 17, the special effects are always primo (because you make 'em up yourself), and although I read nearly 80 books this year, I never ran across the Olsen twins a single time.

The Waking Eyes --- "All Empires Fall"

2008-05-08T11:19:00.000-07:00

Winnipeg's "The Waking Eyes" are putting out their new album, peep the video on Youtube by searching "All Empires Fall" . . . it's a nice video, but I prefer the one below, a live shoot directed by your friend and mine, Spoony B (Aleksander Rzeszowski).

Avant-Garde Basketball Player Penalized for Travelling

2008-03-21T17:52:00.000-07:00

The avant-garde artist known only as "Dehzi," who has become infamous for his unorthodox contributions to professional sports, was penalized for travelling in a basketball game on friday.

During the game's first period, Dehzi gained possession of the ball after intercepting a pass. Dehzi then ran around the court in a ever-widening spiral, screeching tonelessly and holding the ball over his head. Dehzi continued this behaviour when game play had stopped due to the penalty call, ceasing only after being tripped by a member of his own team.

Reaction to the work has been divided. While some critics hailed the play as "revolutionary" and derided the game's referee as "a philistine," other critics declared Dehzi's most recent play "pointless, annoying, and derivative of his previous work."

Dehzi declined comment, but the team's coach, James O'Halloran, issued a statement to the press earlier today. "In his playing, Dehzi tries to strip the game of basketball down to its core elements, and engage with the game on a pre-linguistic level," said O'Halloran. "He's really got to cool it with that shit."

"Lunch Time Street Beef" with Johnny LaRue!

2008-03-19T18:50:00.000-07:00

This is my favourite SCTV sketch, with John Candy as Johnny LaRue. The lack of people on the street was a recurring joke with Street Beef. But in this particular episode, Johnny LaRue has been reprimanded several times for blowing his various budgets in a quest for "production values" --- making use of expensive crane and helicopter shots for no particular reason. Also, LaRue has been demoted to doing this live man-on-the-street show against his wishes, as a sort of punishment, relegated to the bare minimum of production values. Pulled from the context of the entire episode the sketch loses a lot of impact, since almost every line in this sketch is a callback to a joke established previously in the episode --- but Candy's opening monologue and the twists near the end are golden SCTV moments.

What is Stephen Harper reading?

2008-02-10T10:43:00.000-08:00

Yann Martel has started a website: "What is Stephen Harper reading?" As a sort-of protest of the Conservative tendency to under-fund the arts, Martel is sending Harper a gift of a book every two weeks, in the hope that Harper will actually read these books and learn to appreciate art. Brilliant. The website reproduces Martel's letters to Harper, and also the single letter received by Martel, from Harper's assistant.

Chapbooks

2008-02-05T22:22:00.000-08:00

Apparently I have three new chapbooks out. "New-ish" anyway. One is the first chapter of my novel-in-progress, Kanada, entitled An Excerpt from Kanada, in which I is Silent, which is available from me or from NO press (derek [at] housepress [dot] com or jonathan [at] jonathanball [dot] com).

The others are two stranger poetry chapbooks, from kevin mcpherson eckhoff's by the skin of me teeth press, The Present Paradox and π: Archimedes. More info here.

And of course, Bookthug's beautiful little WOLVES (lone.ly). Or, if you speak whatever language this is, you can order it from this mysterious site.

I've got other chapbooks, if you ask kindly.

A Classic TV Moment

2008-01-28T13:31:00.000-08:00

Ed McMahon drunk on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.

That's right, the urban legend is true. And here it is. Aside from the curio factor, the clip is a great reminder of how quick and clever Carson was, for those too young to remember.

You Don't Know About My Theories

2008-01-27T19:00:00.000-08:00

[The backstory: this is an article previously published on the now-defunct kimono.ca which is a "fake" editorial amalgamating something like fifty different, yet similar, conversations I had with a man who later stole my acoustic guitar. The exaggeration has been kept to a minimum. And yes --- for a time he slept on a hooker's discarded mattress.]

You Don't Know About My Theories
by Jason M.

You know, I used to think you were, like, of a greater mindset, but now that I know you a bit better I've got to tell you what a fucking loser you are, especially when compared to me. You just open your mouth and talk and talk but nothing comes out, man! You've got shit for brains! Have your brains turned to mush? You don't know about my theories.

Once upon a time you might have been justified in shooting me down in front of these chicks, but that day has passed, brother. Sure, when you met me I was just a bum on the street playing my guitar for money, but even then you should have realized from those crazy licks of mine that there was something special about me.

Oh, I don't blame you for being short-sighted and dismissing me as just another busker initially, but now that we've known each other for a while I would think you would have caught on. At first I just chalked it up to jealousy on your part because you know how much I kick you ass at singing, but upon closer inspection I must conclude that your brains have turned to mush. Your mentality level is, like, so low!

It's people like you who hold me back, man! If I hadn't already reached the conclusion that you had shit for brains, then I might let you read my notebook and let you in on some of the ideas that I'm, like, constantly matriculating in my head. As per the current state of affairs, however, I am sad to inform you that not only do you not know about my theories, but I'm not going to tell you.

Did you know that the walls of space within your mind are constantly expanding? I guess not, since it is my theories and my theories alone which explicate this phenomenon.

It's a sad situation when your so-called "friends" make fun of you behind your back. I know what you've been up to man, and I don't understand it. Like, pointing out the fact that the mattress I've been sleeping on came to me secondhand from a down-and-out hooker, and in front of that hot girl I've been "working" on --- that was just weak, man. I don't know what you were thinking when you said that. I can't comprehend you. You're not comprehensive!

At least I can take solace in the fact that, while I may not score with that girl, solely because of YOUR interference, I will at least have the pleasure of hoarding my theories and denying you that greatest of knowledge. One day, when science finally comes around to accept my uneducated viewpoints, I'll have the last laugh. Like, all the way to the bank, man!

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to sing a song better than you ever could.

Haiku Horoscopes 2: Electric Bugaloo

2008-01-18T12:29:00.000-08:00

The Haiku Horoscopes have returned, and are running again in Winnipeg's Uptown Magazine. I am hoping to get the column into other city weeklies this year, so if you know of any potential victims, please bring them to my attention. Also, some people have e-mailed me to say that www.haikuhoroscopes.com is not working... as far as I can figure it out, the guy in charge of the company I was buying webspace from fled the country to escape from creditors or something. So the site will return in the future, when I figure out if I can even get the files from the system or if it has to be redesigned or if it's even possible to keep the URL or what. In the meantime, Uptown is your only source for Haiku Horoscopes.

New Pet Peeve: "Aging" Cheese

2008-01-14T07:40:00.000-08:00

You've all heard about the process of "aging" cheese. Cheese is "aged" by its human masters, rather than "growing old" and dying of natural causes. All grammar aside, the jargon renders the concept bizarre, through transforming humans into the arbiters of time. "This cheese shall age, but its brothers shall never grow old!"

ABD (All But Dead)

2007-12-02T20:58:00.001-08:00

Hey, I passed, and am now an official "PhD Candidate" or ABD PhD. Time for sleep. Then the thesis. The Crow Murders

For those about to write... we salute you!

2007-10-29T07:21:00.001-07:00

Today begins my PhD Candidacy Exams. Quite the daunting task. I thought I would begin by posting an inspiring anecdote, for those of you completing your thesis... maybe you are an MA student planning to continue onto a PhD program, like I did. Well, here is your anecdote:

"A rather large edition of [E.J. Pratt's thesis] was printed by a local publisher; and Pratt enjoys telling how for many years whenever he wanted to start a fire he would toss in a copy or two of the thesis...." --E.K. Brown, On Canadian Poetry

Martin Magic!!

2007-10-25T22:31:00.001-07:00

The best magic act ever?

My Favourite Comedian

2007-10-25T22:00:00.000-07:00

I love comedy and comedians. Sometimes I am asked who my favourite comedian is. The answer, hands down, is Steve Martin. People are often surprised by this answer, because in recent years Steve Martin has been in the habit of making lousy movies that aren't very funny. But Martin's style shines through best in his early stand-up and television appearances. Go spend an hour or so on YouTube with Mr. Martin and you'll see.

Below is a three-part Tonight Show appearance by Martin with Johnny Carson. First, you'll see Martin doing his stand-up. Then a brilliant two-part interview with Carson in which he really puts the average guest to shame.

Bush Declares War on Zombies

2007-10-25T11:22:00.000-07:00

Fast Fictions by Kevin Spenst

2007-10-18T12:55:00.001-07:00

A recent acquisition, worth blogging about, is a slender little booklet entitled Fast Fictions by Vancouver writer Kevin Spenst. Kevin has been writing a short-short story a day for, oh, about 1000+ days. Recently he wrote his 1000th story and celebrated with a clever tour (50 venues in the same day) reading from a the aforementioned booklet which contains 25 of the best stories (in Kevin's opinion). Martian Press devotees may recognize Kevin from his inclusion in the first and only Martian Press Review, or from his short films as part of the Narcoleptic Videographer collective in Vancouver. Anyway, the book is a great little collection of "freak show short-short stories of the sad, bizarre & beautiful" (to quote its cover). You should e-mail kevinspensty@hotmail.com to arrange purchase of your own copy for a mere $7.

The latest from McSweeney's is also short-short stories, One Hundred and Forty-Five Stories in a Small Box, which is essentially three short-short story collections: Hard to Admit and Harder to Escape by Sarah Manguso, How the Water Feels to the Fishes by Dave Eggers, and Minor Robberies by Deb Olin Unferth.

Short-short stories are running rampant! They must be stopped. I recommend purchasing them all as the best method to contain this madness.

talk about crazy

2007-10-06T20:47:00.000-07:00

So, here's something crazy and unexpected... my ex-girlfriend (and still friend), the reporter/poet Lindsey Wiebe pops into my messenger box today, to tell me she is in Afghanistan. The Winnipeg Free Press sent here there. She wasn't allowed to tell me anything else. But here's her Afghanistan blog with what she is allowed to tell you/me. And another article here.

It's not easy...

2007-09-25T06:41:00.000-07:00

... being the Pimp King of Winnipeg!

Watch the film here.

Faulkner — you're fired!!!

2007-09-22T10:35:00.001-07:00

In 1924, William Faulkner was fired from his job as a US postmaster, which he had held for three years. Below I've copied some excerpts from a letter sent to Faulkner shortly before his firing, for your general amusement.

Dear Sir:

The following charges have been made against you as a postmaster at University, Mississippi:

1. That you are neglectful of your duties, in that you are a habitual reader of books and magazines, and seem reluctant to cease reading long enough to serve the patrons; that you have a book being printed at the present time, the greater part of which was written while on duty at the postoffice [...]

3. That you are indifferent to interest of patrons, unsocial, and rarely ever speak to patrons of the office unless absolutely necessary; that you do not give the office the proper attention, opening and closing same at your convenience; that you can be found playing golf during office hours.

4. That you mistreat mail of all classes, including registered mail; that you have thrown mail with return postage guaranteed and all other classes in the garbage can by the side entrance, near the rear door [...] that this has gotten to be such a common occurrence that some patrons have gone to the garbage can to get their magazines, should they not be in their boxes when they looked for them.

[... it goes on ... Faulkner also let his friends come and play cards with him at work ...]

Respectfully yours

Mark Webster
Postoffice Inspector
Corinth, Mississippi

Nicole Brossard joined in Calgary by Erín Moure, Robert Majzels, and Robert Kroetsch

2007-09-18T11:43:00.001-07:00

The Believer says that "Brossard conflates writing with lovemaking — 'at the hour of bedsheets or ink'—[her] poems forming a grammar of desire, like a diagrammed body." But see for yourself — why believe The Believer?

On September 24, literary legend Nicole Brossard, two-time winner of the Governor General's Award for Poetry, will give a reading in Calgary to celebrate the English translation of her book Notebook of Roses and Civilization (published by Coach House Books). Brossard will be joined by her translators, Governor General's Award-winning authors Erín Moure and Robert Majzels. The event takes place at the Nickle Arts Museum on the University of Calgary campus at 7:30 p.m. The event is a pre-launch for a special themed issue of dANDelion magazine, which focuses on "Radical Translations" and will contain work by all three authors.

Then, on September 25, Brossard is joined by Governor General's Award-winning author Robert Kroetsch for a Q&A on campus at 3:00 p.m., in Science Theatre 147. Don't miss this valuable opportunity to talk with two of Canada's most significant writers in an intimate venue.

Both events are free and open to the public — that's four of Canada's best writers, for the price of none.

Presented by dANDelion magazine, Coach House Books, and the English Department at the University of Calgary, with generous funding from the Canada Council for the Arts, Alberta Foundation for the Arts, Calgary Arts Development, and Canadian Heritage.

Can you spot the poor, but somehow amazing, writing?

2007-09-16T20:54:00.000-07:00

Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, because that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you the true story of what happened on that fateful day.

--- the opening lines of Plan 9 from Outer Space

Canmore

2007-09-12T14:43:00.001-07:00

Went to Canmore recently with Mandy, she took the picture on the left. She's becoming quite the photographer. When this picture was taken, her camera was poised on the edge of a bridge and held up only by some pebbles. A risk-taker, that one. The trip was wonderful, we relaxed in Canmore at a cozy bed and breakfast and then spent the next day travelling through the park, stopping to sight-see along the highway and heading as far north as the Athabasca Glacier where it descends from the Columbia Icefields. You can stroll up the foot of the mountains to the glacier and walk over part of it. It's incredible to see the glacier up close like that, seeing them from the highway it's difficult to understand how massive they truly are. We also strolled through Johnson Canyon which was a fun hike, lots of walking and taking in the landscape and no working. It was great to get away from the city for a while and just take a short break before the nightmare of work that is September, when I have to write Clockfire, begin teaching, prepare an issue of dANDelion, organize and promote an event with Nicole Brossard, study for my forthcoming PhD candidacy exams, and live a regular life, and also prepare a paper for an academic conference in Regina. And I still haven't unpacked everything after moving last month. So thanks to Mandy for being so wonderful and helping me relax, and also for being such a clever little budding photographer.

Leacock quotes

2007-09-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

Re-reading the Canadian classic Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town by Stephen Leacock. A few choice quotes:

I don't say that there's no justification for [suicide]. There often is. Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances upon the concertina, will admit that there are some lives which ought not to be continued, and that even suicide has its brighter aspects. (135)

So they had the ice cream, and the poet ate it in buckets-ful. Poets always do. They need it. (139)

And my personal favourite, given my current course of study:

The meaning of this degree [PhD] is that the recipient of instruction is examined for the last time in his life, and is pronounced completely full. After this, no new ideas can be imparted to him. (viii)

new stuff for you

2007-08-10T11:00:00.001-07:00

A few new things on the horizon, namely the following. To contact me about anything, e-mail jonathan[at]jonathanball[dot]com.

dANDelion Radical Translation issue

See the post below this one for more info. I'm preparing my first issue of dANDelion as Managing Editor, and I need awesome things to publish in this issue. If you like to make awesome things, get in touch.

Opening Band

I completed a new short comedy film, called Opening Band. I'm not sure where this will be viewable yet, but of course you may be able to cajole me into letting you watch the film, or perhaps cajole me into parting with a DVD. Make me an offer. Also, if you own any distribution companies or television stations, I'm looking to sell the broadcast rights. Likewise, if you run any festivals, I want the film to screen at festivals.

New(ish) Chapbooks

I've been publishing my own work in chapbook form, mostly with other presses. It's just occurred to me that people might want to purchase such things. Here's the deal: the following chapbooks are all available from me, for $10 each. That includes postage, so it's really $8+2. But if you want both, you can have both for $15, no postage.

wolves (lone.ly) --- This was published by Bookthug and is a brief long poem with a somewhat experimental bent. A beautifully designed book, you can view it on the Bookthug site if you want to see the cover (and you can also order it from Bookthug as well).

Monsters --- This was published by Cubicle Press and is the winner of the first Cubicle Press Chapbook Contest. It's a series of poems that I describe as "unconventional lyrics" (poems that have a vague, uneasy, and threatening lyricism). I'm not aware of any way to get this book except through me or Jordan Fry in Niagara Falls.

Martian Press Sale:

I shut down the Martian Press and now I want to get rid of my back stock. So I'm putting it on the selling block: instead of the usual $5+2 per book, you can have 3 books for $10. Any books. Also, two out-of-print books were just rediscovered in small amounts: six copies of kevin mcpherson eckhoff's Document 1 and two copies of Call & Response by myself and derek beaulieu are now available... this is your last chance to get these two books, and possibly any of my books, now that the sale is on. I also accept trades, and in some cases prefer them. So, the books available, 3 for $10, are:

Jonathan Ball and derek beaulieu "Call & Response"
Kimmy Beach "Aberrant Lounges"
kevin mcpherson eckhoff "Document 1"
ryan fitzpatrick "Of Quixote's Lap"
Ken Kowal "Ripley Retreats"
rob mclennan "generations"
Lars Palm "On Stealing Lips"
Chris Rizzo/Jess Mynes "Full On Jabber"

That's it for now, thanks for listening.

dANDelion presents.... RADICAL TRANSLATIONS

2007-08-09T13:15:00.000-07:00

dANDelion magazine is seeking submissions for a special issue on Radical Translation. The issue will feature the proceedings of the “Translating Translating Montreal” conference at the University of Calgary, including poetry and essays by Oana Avasilichioaei, Angela Carr, Robert Majzels, and Erin Mouré.

dANDelion is seeking accompanying works (poetry, fiction, non-fiction, interviews, and visual art) that engage with this theme of Radical Translation. Submissions may include, but are not limited to:

- existing works translated through employing radical poetics
- existing works appropriated or adapted in some radical fashion
- original works engaging in some way with the notion of translation
- original works exploring the spaces between languages or on the cusp of language

The deadline for this special issue is October 1, 2007.

Please e-mail submissions to editors@dandelionmagazine.ca with “TRANSLATION” in the subject field. dANDelion pays an honorarium of $50 on publication. Simultaneous submissions are acceptable, but please notify us promptly if you place your work elsewhere.

Tom Green Rapping

2007-08-03T19:13:00.000-07:00

People forget that Tom Green was a rapper who was even nominated for a Juno, for this song --- video below. He's also got a great new show --- perhaps the world's first live internet call-in show --- which is free (and live) on www.tomgreen.com or archived as a video podcast on iTunes. You should search for other Organized Rhyme songs, since they are generally better and very funny (this one not so much).

And of course this song includes Tom Green's genius line, haiku-like in its perfection:

"Hip-hop, not a weasel going pop."

Rollin' with Saget

2007-07-24T11:13:00.000-07:00

Peter Norman Prize

2007-07-22T18:18:00.000-07:00

jonathanball.blogspot.com is proud to present THE FIRST ANNUAL PETER NORMAN PRIZE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE REGULAR VISITORS TO THIS WEBSITE DESPITE ITS LACK OF INTEREST OR RELEVANCE TO CONTEMPORARY SOCIETY. This prize will be awarded annually to the person (or persons) who fulfill the following criteria:

1. Prizewinner(s) will be regular visitors to this website despite its lack of interest or relevance to contemporary society
2. Prizewinner(s) will work to promote this website despite its lack of interest or relevance to contemporary society
3. Prizewinner(s) may (or may not) be named Peter Norman

I am proud to honour Calgary writer PETER NORMAN as the 2007 receipient of this award. Peter is receiving this award because he fulfills all three criteria and was responsible for republishing an excerpt from this website in the print magazine AlbertaViews, despite the fact that AlbertaViews is of interest and relevance to contemporary society.

Peter may pick from a list of prizes:

- The Bathroom Book of Alberta Trivia
- a VHS screener of The Nature of Nicholas
- any of the following albums: White Pony by Deftones, deftones by Deftones, the downward spiral by Nine Inch Nails, the Alice In Chains albums Jar of Flies, Facelift, Dirt, or Unplugged, Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness by The Smashing Pumpkins, or Temple of the Dog by Temple of the Dog

Any or all of these prizes are now the property of Peter Norman, provided he continue to read this blog, notice this post, and contact me to claim his prizes.

Attaboy!

If you would like to be in the running for the PETER NORMAN PRIZE in 2008, then drop hints to me over the course of the following year that you are, indeed, reading this blog, despite its lack of interest or relevance to contemporary society.

Buster Keaton is Hardcore

2007-07-21T23:24:00.000-07:00

Steve-o can suck it --- Buster Keaton is the true madman of physical insanity.

July 19 The Martian Press Closes Its Books!

2007-07-10T17:57:00.001-07:00

On Thursday, July 19, 6pm, McNally Robinson Calgary The Martian Press, my own little micropress project, will be shut down after two years and 15 (or so) books. Readings from MP authors derek beaulieu and ryan fitzpatrick will take place, and I will read selected work from other authors who are not in Calgary. Books which are quickly going out-of-print will be available for a measly $5 each. The event is free and will be fun. The next day, don't forget to catch the Holy Beep event. Go to both events! Both will be historic and awesomeness will abound.

FINAL Martian Press Chapbook!!!

2007-06-23T15:50:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's worth all three exclamation marks. I'm closing the book on The Martian Press, as I simply don't have the proper amount of time to devote to making chapbooks anymore. Mark the date July 19 on your calender: there will be a going-out-gala at McNally Robinson in Calgary on that date. More info closer to the date.

The final MP book is Ken Kowal's Ripley Retreats. The book is a odd collection of poems --- imagine Tom Ripley (from Patricia Highsmith's Ripley books) visiting a writer's colony and leaving a manuscript behind. It's presented very simply, as if I had found Ripley's manuscript cleanly laid out on a bare desk. A clever little set of poems.

Like all MP books, Ripley Retreats is a mere $5 + $2 shipping = $7. E-mail jonathan[at]jonathanball[dot]com to order your copy.

Or, you can get the 5 books for $20 deal I always offer (shipping waived in this case). The following books are still available (the rest are out of print):

* Call & Response by derek beaulieu & Jonathan Ball
Generations by rob mclennan
Aberrant Lounges by Kimmy Beach
On Stealing Lips by Lars Palm
Full On Jabber by Chris Rizzo & Jess Mynes
Of Quixote's Lap by ryan fitzpatrick

* indicates almost-out-of-print titles you should order immediately

My New Favourite Song/Video

2007-06-21T20:49:00.001-07:00

Spoony B on MySpace!!!

2007-06-18T08:02:00.000-07:00

Although I have deleted my MySpace site, Spoony B still has his own MySpace site.

Your To-Do List

2007-06-13T05:40:00.000-07:00

1. Read these Dinosaur Comics:

http://www.qwantz.com/index.pl?comic=1003
http://www.qwantz.com/index.pl?comic=1004
http://www.qwantz.com/index.pl?comic=1008

2. Go to the dANDelion launch party (see below).

June 14 -- dANDelion launches 33.1

2007-06-10T07:40:00.000-07:00

The dANDelion launch is coming right up! Don't miss it!!! FREE admission and FREE food and FOUR great performers!!! Here's the info:

Thursday, June 14
33.1 Launch with Patrick Friesen, Marilyn Lerner, Andrew Wedderburn, and Jay Coda Walker

When: June 14th, 2007

Where: Cantos Music Foundation, 134 – 11th Avenue S.E.

Who: All those interested in supporting and participating in the literary community

Why: Raise awareness, support dANDelion and expose Canadian talent

Time: Doors open at 5:30 p.m. to the public.

Calgary’s oldest literary journal, dANDelion, is celebrating the release of their latest issue (33.1) with poet Patrick Friesen accompanied by pianist Marilyn Lerner, author Andrew Wedderburn, and musical guest Jay Coda Walker.

Patrick Friesen’s latest work, Earth's Crude Gravities, is both a meditation and an argument, a compelling series of poems on the world of matter and the world of spirit. Acclaimed poet Patrick Friesen muses on the religion that has been such a key part of his own background—but he also raises uncertainties. Whether he is discussing his love of the material world or the fictional creation of a narrative in religion, Friesen’s poetry is elegant, eloquent and imagistic. Patrick Friesen, a resident of Winnipeg for thirty years, now lives in Vancouver, teaching at Kwantlen University College. He has written numerous books of poetry and has also worked on translations of Danish poets, including A Sudden Sky (2001), a collaborative translation with Per Brask of selected poems by Ulrikka S. Gernes. Friesen has also written several stage and radio plays, and has collaborated with choreographers, dancers, musicians and composers. His books have been shortlisted for the BC Book Prize and the Governor General's Award.

Exhilarating jazz pianist/improviser Marilyn Lerner performs to acclaim internationally, from her native Montreal to Havana, from Jerusalem to Amsterdam and the Ukraine. Her groundbreaking recordings have garnered recognition, including “Best Western Jazz Recording 2004” for her “Special Angel” duo with legendary guitarist Sonny Greenwich. Lerner conducts workshops on improvisation and on Jewish music throughout North America, Europe and the former Soviet Union. Current projects include both a recording and performances of "Shake My Heart Like a Copper Bell, Lerner's contemporary Yiddish song cycle on the poetry of Anna Margolin, scored for piano, cello, clarinet and singer Adrienne Cooper, for which she received a Hadassah-Brandeis research award, ongoing collaborations with poet Patrick Friesen, a new trio project with cellist Matt Brubeck and drummer Nick Fraser and numerous solo concerts.

Andrew Wedderburn has worked in community radio and co-operative bookstores, slung martinis and was briefly a moderately successful Name That Tune host. Now he explains stock photography for a living. His rock’n’roll outfit, Hot Little Rocket, has played across Canada more times than he can keep track of and performed for two weeks in Beijing in 2005. The Milk Chicken Bomb is his first novel. He lives in Calgary.

Jay Coda Walker has been performing for audiences for over 15 years. He is the National Project Discovery Winner of 2001, Budweiser Talent Contest Winner of 1999 and the Shaw Television Video/Showcase Recipient of 1998.

Cormac McCarthy (on Oprah)

2007-06-08T08:04:00.000-07:00

Cormac McCarthy's only television interview was of course with Oprah. He's a strange pick for the Oprah Book Club, since the novel (The Road) is a touching story about a father and son trying to survive in a postapocalyptic future America (complete with cannibals).

A rather bland interview, owing partly to McCarthy's indifference and Oprah's utter lack of interviewing skill. Nevertheless, a great quote from McCarthy (on becoming one of the world's greatest living novelists):

I always knew that I didn’t want to work

Miss Lamp up for a ReLit

2007-05-31T13:31:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Chris Ewart, whose first novel Miss Lamp was shortlisted for the prestigious ReLit Awards just yesterday.

Great Writer's Website

2007-05-29T18:52:00.001-07:00

Writer websites are too often bland (i.e., my own website). But this one is great. Go Miranda July!

Kiss MySpace Goodbye!!!

2007-05-29T17:16:00.000-07:00

I deleted my MySpace account, because I hate MySpace. And no, I don't want a Facebook account!!! I hate all these stupid accounts. I can't wait for this fad to die.

Clockfire

2007-05-24T09:07:00.001-07:00

I've been lucky lately, got a SSHRC grant to finish putting me through school and just recently was awarded an arts grant from the AFA to write a book of prose/plays/poems called Clockfire. The book is a series of prose poem instructions for plays that would be impossible or at least unfeasible to produce (in the title poem the actors "sneak behind the audience and set the theatre on fire"). Best summer job I've ever had. Way better than working the night shift at Robin's Donuts in downtown Winnipeg.

Cosby!!!

2007-05-10T20:06:00.000-07:00

Just to prove that people are weird, I went out and bought a rhinoceros. —Bill Cosby

Mandy and I just bought tickets to go see Cosby, in Edmonton, in October. He is here tonight in Calgary, but she can't go with me tonight, being in Saskatchewan. Cosby will be great. Excellent comedian. I love stand-up comedy, wanted to be a stand-up when I was younger, and Cosby is one of my heroes. Recently listening to Orny Adams, his DVD/CD pair The Path of Most Resistance, is definitely worth your money and time. You may remember Orny from the Comedian documentary a few years ago. Anyway, I'm excited about Cosby, and also about Mandy coming to visit for May long.

The Saga of the Dirty Stick

2007-05-03T09:47:00.000-07:00

Apparently AlbertaViews wants to reprint my blog posting about the dirty stick/bus stop near my apartment. Peter Norman called to say that this publication "sadly comes without payment, but perhaps comes with untold amounts of glory." Now if I can only get the New Yorker to columnize my Haiku Horoscopes, I will have it made.

ps

2007-04-27T20:47:00.000-07:00

it strikes me now that my last post can be read as being a bit pretentious... the point is not to say "i'm great" but just that i know first-hand what rodriguez is talking about, with people wasting money trying to do it "the 'right' way" instead of being creative and spending your budget where it counts (in my case, on editing and buying lunch for my awesome actors --- the editor and actors are the real stars of those films of mine). rodriguez has this great story in the book where the studio he ends up selling his film to pays him a per diem of $2000 per week to come to LA and supervise a transfer to 35mm.... they also gave him an office, so he just slept in his office and pocketed the $2000 per week. in a month they had spent more money to cover his (non-existent) hotel and meals than he had spent on his entire feature film. now THAT guy (not so much me) knows how to direct!!

Rebel Without a Crew

2007-04-27T00:33:00.000-07:00

I just read Robert Rodriguez's Rebel Without a Crew, which details him making his first film El Mariachi for $7000 (with no crew) and his subsequent rise to Hollywood stardom. It's a great book. Rodriguez really has his head screwed on. No nonsense, just a "here's what I did" approach, and he's not afraid to talk numbers, which most books don't. His common mantra is that Hollywood is wasteful and uncreative because it just throws money at problems instead of coming up with creative ways to solve them. Indeed.

I made my first short, Spoony B, for about $300. (I spent another $300 just prior, taking a few classes in how to develop film, use a camera, etc.) It's 7min, which conventional wisdom says should cost about $7000 (as much as Rodriguez's whole feature film debut). I developed the film in buckets so that I could save on lab costs, I transferred it to video by projecting it onto my kitchen wall and shooting it with a video camera, I didn't record any dialogue, I did all manner of other things "wrong"... and then I sold the thing for a little under $2000, almost 7x its cost. Other filmmakers have to turn down offers like that because they are too low. You might say I could have milked the film more and tried to "make a name" with it. Well, who cares? It's my first film, ever, as a director. I just shot it for practice, and more because I wanted some film I could develop to make sure I was developing the film correctly than for any other reason. And it's better than half the films I see by people who have gone to film school and spent thousands with a proper crew, etc. (I have no formal training other than a few one- or two-day workshops).

Filmmakers need to stop wasting money. I shot a second film which should be edited and ready for distribution in June. It also cost about $300. It would be less but I paid my editor/star $150 because he is the man. Even if I don't make a dime off of it, I've made two films for less than what most people spend on ONE MINUTE of screen time. And they don't suck, which is more than I can say for most minutes of screen time. I was watching Movieola while home for Easter... HOLY CRAP!! DIRECTORS WHO ARE NOT WRITERS!!! STOP WRITING YOUR OWN FILMS!!!!

Rodriguez, you da man!!! Everybody with ANY interest in making films, read this book!

Dashes

2007-04-25T19:34:00.000-07:00

I have been editing the next issue of dANDelion magazine and also reading Eats, Shoots & Leaves, and my inner stickler is balking at my punctuation pet peeve: misunderstanding and confusion concerning hyphens and dashes.

KNOW THIS. There are three commonly confused punctuation marks:

A hyphen (-) which connects two words for various reasons (i.e., fire-roasted);

an en dash (–), which is the length of a capital-N, and which is used to indicate "between X and Y" (i.e., "1978 – 1989" equals "between 1978 and 1989");

and an em dash (—), which is the length of a capital-M, and is used as a break — as in this example — and which may NOT be replaced with a hyphen or en dash.

Heard of Poets

2007-04-18T11:36:00.000-07:00

My poem "Practicing My Signature," which was published by Max Middle, will appear in the film Heard of Poets. It premieres April 21st at 4pm at Library and Archives of Canada, 395 Wellington Street, as part of the Ottawa International Writers Festival. If you happen to live in Ottawa, you may want to check out what sounds like an interesting film (I haven't seen it myself). The film was directed by Ben Walker and John Massey.

Spoony B online!!!

2007-04-17T20:05:00.000-07:00

My film Spoony B is now online! You can watch the film here -- it's 7 minutes long. Enjoy!

Also, you can listen to the Spoony B theme song, "Spoony B Me" --- just click on the link!

Asemic Writing

2007-04-17T17:57:00.000-07:00

derek showed me an interesting book today, Michael Jacobson's The Giant's Fence. A great review/description of the book here. It's what Jacobson calls a "trans-symbolic" text, asemic writing. I'm very interested in these kinds of unreadable books, just wrote an essay on derek's own translation of Edwin Abbott Abbott's Flatland where derek has replaced the text with a strange mapping of it. If you're even halfway interested in this stuff you may want to check out the Codex Seraphinianus or the Voynich Manuscript.

Ali G vs the US Surgeon General

2007-04-16T20:26:00.000-07:00

"Me know this is a generalization, but why is all skeletons involved in evil stuff?"

R.I.P. Button

2007-03-25T09:09:00.000-07:00

The Beginning:

The End:

"Button" Oct. 2006-Mar. 2007

Button, so named because he was "cute as a" passed away yesterday afternoon in the bright sunshine. He had a short life on Mandy's balcony but touched many with his charm and strong odor. We will miss him.

New Chapbook!!

2007-03-20T13:47:00.000-07:00

Hey kids. I've been busy, passed my first round of candidacies, put[ting] together a new issue of dANDelion, the usual writing, studying for my final candidacies, etc., but I managed to put out a new chapbook: Full On Jabber by Jess Mynes & Christopher Rizzo.

Still have diminishing quantities of a few chapbooks available as well. The * symbol denotes books that are almost sold out, and which you may want to buy while you still can. So here's the current catalogue:

Full On Jabber by Jess Mynes and Christopher Rizzo
On Stealing Lips by Lars Palm
Abberant Lounges by Kimmy Beach
* Document 1 by kevin mcpherson eckhoff
Of Quixote's Lap by ryan fitzpatrick
generations by rob mclennan
* Call & Response by Jonathan Ball & derek beaulieu
* oppidum by Norah Bowman

Single books: $5 plus shipping ($1 in Canada, $2 in the US)
Five books: $20 and free shipping
All eight books: $30 and free shipping

If you want anything, email me at jonathan [at] jonathanball [dot] com. I'm going to be travelling through late March and the first half of April, so any orders will be delivered late April.

Open Letter to Matthew Barney

2007-02-24T22:27:00.000-08:00

To: Matthew Barney, American Artist and former model/football player

Re: The fact that the brilliant Cremaster Cycle film series will never be released in a consumer DVD set, due to the decision to sell an extremely limited series of DVDs for upwards of $100,000 instead.

Dear Mr. Barney:

You suck. And I hate you.

All the best,

Jonathan Ball

An Open Letter to Calgary Transit

2007-02-24T17:38:00.000-08:00

I sent this message to Calgary Transit earlier today:

Dear Calgary Transit:

I live on the corner of 16th Ave and 4th St NW. There was once a bus stop on 16th just east of this intersection. Then it was torn up by a construction crew and moved just west of the intersection, where it is currently marked by a dirty stick.

Your bus drivers do not seem to be aware of this dirty stick which doubles as a bus stop, although the words "bus stop" are clearly buried on it under a layer of mud. I am writing to request that you take one of two actions:

1) Hire me on a contract basis to periodically clean the stick.

2) Replace the stick with a bus stop sign made of metal.

My contact information is below should you decide upon option 1.

Sincerely,

Jonathan Ball

a found poem

2007-02-24T11:20:00.000-08:00

Discovered this scrawled by Anonymous at the beginning of a library book, The Well Wrought Urn by Cleanth Brooks:

coming home to an
empty house is
like coming home to
your own death.

Fugue Nefesh

2007-02-23T06:45:00.000-08:00

So I missed the film night where they were going to be screening Spoony B and other films. I was feeling pretty lousy so stayed home, disappointing millions. I also hear that they held the film for various reasons, and will show it some other film night, disappointing few.

While bemoaning my fate I watched a DVD I received in the mail (people are always sending me things in the mail) of Solomon Nagler's latest film Fugue Nefesh, which is where these images came from. I worked on Fugue Nefesh as the 1st Assistant Director and a Locations scout back in 2005. Film turned out great, a really artful and meticulous work recalling Bela Tarr in some respects, very beautiful.

Fugue Nefesh is the final film in a trilogy of "Jewish elegies" that Nagler has been working on, the previous two being perhaps/We and The Sex of Self-Hatred --- two of my favourite films. Nagler is without a doubt Canada's most promising young filmmaker, in my view, and so I'm thrilled to have been involved in the film. Hopefully the three films will be available at some point as a trilogy, the DVD I have has menus which appear designed for this purpose, and Sol has expressed interest in doing this, it's more a matter of who will distribute such a thing.

Spoony B, Bob Dylan, and Food

2007-02-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

Spoony B will play at Calgary's Broken City alongside Pt 1 of No Direction Home (the Bob Dylan documentary) on Feb. 21st, 6-9pm. There is a $9 pasta/wine special as well. What more could you want? "The Filmmaker" will be in attendance, in case you've been missing me.

Gremlins!!!

2007-02-08T22:31:00.000-08:00

I got this great Gremlins book from a waiting room. That's Gremlins the movie. Remember? I'll bet you do.

Anyway, it is very .... strangely.... written. Yes, "strangely" is the proper word. Especially if you consider the text apart from the pictures. It's almost some sort of apocalyptic poetry. Here is the text from page 1:

Billy Peltzer and Kate Beringer were friends. Gizmo was Billy's pet. Billy's Dad had given him the unusual creature as a Christmas present.

All three stared in horror at the destruction going on around them.

Anyway, chew on that with your mind-mouth. I'm out of here. Calgary that is. Later, suckers.

The Future.... of Advertising

2007-02-04T19:36:00.001-08:00

The future of advertising is absolutely insane. Now companies are simply advertising words, unrelated to products, which they intend to later use in advertisements. And they're advertising them in almost-invisible ways... see this article on the YouTube "wigout" video. Frightening.

Rilke

2007-02-04T19:31:00.000-08:00

Rilke is the King of Kings, and I love him.

from The Book of Hours

I live my life in growing rings
which move out over the things around me.
Perhaps I'll never complete the last,
but that's what I mean to try.

I'm circling around God, around the ancient tower,
and I've been circling thousands of years;
and I still don't know: am I a falcon, a storm,
or a great song.

π - ARCHIMEDES

2007-02-03T18:46:00.001-08:00

My new crazy project is an aleatory work called π which consists of 10 series of replacements over 10 pages of π. For those interested in obscure concrete experiments only. You can read one section, ARCHIMEDES, online and forthcoming in print from By the Skin of Me Teeth chapbooks, a new Calgary micropress "dedicated to publishing the absolute dullest writing by both emerging & established authors."

WOLVES (lone.ly) out from Bookthug

2007-02-02T17:57:00.000-08:00

Goodness

2007-02-01T22:26:00.000-08:00

All sorts of goodness tonight, went to the Calgary Ink/Flywheel reading and heard lots of fine new fiction in its formative stages. Very much looking forward to the future, where we will have rocket cars and Paul Kennett's novel One Great City about Earle Nelson, the "Dark Strangler" (perhaps Winnipeg's most notorious serial killer).

Got the new filling Station magazines. I am all over fS these days. Issue 37 was the single issue for which I was a Film Section Editor, and the current issue 38 is the "Jonathan Ball issue" in which I (1) conducted an interview with Robert Majzels, (2) published the first few pages of my screenplay The Sandman, and (3) Emily Carr's review of Jay MillAr's False Maps for Other Creatures quotes the interview I did with MillAr from fS issue 36!

Picked up some books with my gift certificate (Xmas present from my parents): two books relating to Kafka (my hero), The Zürau Aphorisms (by Kafka, ed. Roberto Calasso) and K. by Roberto Calasso; Dennis Cooley's new book the bentleys (I liked his original title, love in a dry land much better, I must say... will have to complain when I see Dennis later this month); Derrida's Of Grammatology which has been eluding me for months somehow; and finally Stephen King's Cell, a zombie novel which shall occupy my "down-time" between theory readin (wanted something light and full of zombies).

All told a good night. I am also enjoying Shanzing Wang's Mad Science in Imperial City which you fans of innovation prose/poetry may want to seek out. Will leave you with a quote from the Kafka aphorisms book:

The dogs are still playing in the yard, but the quarry will not escape them, never mind how fast it is running through the forest already.

Free Books!!!

2007-01-31T23:01:00.000-08:00

Hey kids! Want a book? For free? How about the best book ever written in English? I'm speaking, of course, about Moby Dick.

Coyle and Sharpe

2007-01-18T17:12:00.000-08:00

The best thing I've heard all day (in a recording).

"Let's just cut your head open. Why be bureaucratic about it?"

www.coyleandsharpe.com

Puddle Leaflets

2007-01-14T07:34:00.001-08:00

Max Middle put out some poetry leaflets last year, and is continuing this year. Some of my visual work became his last Puddle leaflet of 2006, and for $10 you can have my leaflet and 7 others, or subscribe to his 2007 line-up for $15.

Borat

2007-01-13T19:35:00.000-08:00

I finally saw Borat. Outstanding. I haven't seen a comedy as clever or one that takes so many risks for years and years and years. Kind of like Andy Kaufman meets Coyle and Sharpe. Whether you like the film or not, you've got to admire Sacha Baron Cohen's performance. This guy should win the Oscar for Best Actor this year.

In formal terms, the film is a very experimental work in some respects, in the way that it mixes documentary and fiction film techniques to present a pastiche-work which nonetheless develops along a somewhat conventional three-act structure. Also, the way that he avoids letting the subjects in on the joke is perhaps ethically unsound (I'm undecided) but nonetheless leads him into darker, more complex, and ultimately funnier territory than the usual nonsense that results from the "gotcha" setup.

The best of luck with your lawsuits in the New Year, Mr. Cohen!!

The Rare "Crack Spider"

2007-01-11T20:29:00.001-08:00

This is awesome and informative:

Australian publication

2007-01-11T20:22:00.000-08:00

Australia is being good to me. I published an article on George Bowering in an online magazine there in 2005, and just got word that Etchings wants to publish a short story of mine in a print magazine down under. With a UK publication in 2005 as well, and a few US publications last year, I am officially "international" in the most humble sense. So why won't anybody give me a grant?

New Year, New Stuff

2007-01-07T22:02:00.000-08:00

I'm back in Calgary and excited about a lot of things. The first thing I'm excited about is going to sleep. The second thing I'm excited about is that Bookthug will be putting out my chapbook WOLVES (lone.ly). The third thing I'm excited about is that I have completed a rough draft of a book-length long poem and will revise/finish the manuscript this month. I am submitting it anonymously to the Snare Books contest so I won't talk about it here until after the results are in, in the interest of fairness, as it is a small Internet world. The fourth thing I'm excited about is that people are ordering chapbooks (see below) and you can too! The fifth thing I'm excited about is all the mail I will get tomorrow when my hold expires. The sixth thing I'm excited about is that I am delerious from sickness and soon will collapse. Oh, and the new Bond film is good too.

Andy Samberg = Good SNL

2006-12-21T07:09:00.000-08:00

Without Samberg, I don't know... anyway, here are some skits you may/may not have seen. Classic. I'm on vacation. Don't forget to order your Martian Press chapbooks (see below). Enjoy the holidays if you celebrate them. If you don't, pretend so you can get off work.

New MARTIAN PRESS Chapbooks!

2006-12-12T17:45:00.000-08:00

I am very pleased to announce SIX new(ish) MARTIAN PRESS chapbooks:

Aberrant Lounges by Kimmy Beach
on stealing lips by Lars Palm
acts of barbarity and vandalism by Daniel Tysdal
Document 1 by kevin mcpherson eckhoff
Of Quixote’s Lap by ryan fitzpatrick
generations by rob mclennan

Some of these have been out for a while but I haven't had time to promote them, and others just came out. If you want to know anything about the books, ask me. If you want to know anything about the authors, Google them.

All chapbooks are $5 plus postage ($2). You can have 5 for $20, and I'll pay the postage in that case. I might even throw in something special, for free.

Just because I'm feeling generous, and in the holiday spirit.

And you can always order older books. I'll give you the same 5 for $20 deal. Older books include:

Film/making by Jonathan Ball
The Martian Press Review, Volume I
The Road to Power: Taking Control of Your Life by Barbara Berger by Aaron Mauro
oppidum by Norah Bowman
Call & Response by derek beaulieu & Jonathan Ball

If you want anything, e-mail me: JONATHAN at JONATHANBALL dot COM.

Thanks, and Happy Holidays!

Spoony B on The Comedy Network!!!

2006-11-08T22:12:00.000-08:00

Broadcast rights for my first short film as director, How Spoony B Got His Ho Back, were recently purchased by The Comedy Network!

The film will be shown alongside some other short comedy films at 11:30pm & 3:30am ET/PT, this Sunday, NOV 12!

You can find more info about the show here.

So cue up your VCR and check it out! It's a shortie but a goodie.

at the moment

2006-11-05T14:47:00.000-08:00

I am enjoying my new membership over at the ireadpretty blog. Posted on Life of Pi, some thoughts I've been meaning to expand into an essay for some time. Maybe I will finally get around to it next year sometime.

There are rumours of flying me in to Winnipeg to give a talk on Jeff Erbach's film The Nature of Nicholas but I'm not sure what will materialize out of it. In any case, it's supposed to come out on DVD soon. Wait for it...

I'm reading a bunch of things these days but just finished Murphy by Samuel Beckett which I highly recommend. Currently my "fun" reading includes Italo Calvino's If On a Winter's Night a Traveler and The Sandman: The Dream Hunters.

In a long-standing tradition of depicting me in comic form, kevin mcpherson eckhoff gave me a very cute little chapbook which depicts me drawing a stupid face and the word "loser" on Morpheus while he takes a nap. (The Morpheus from the Sandman comics by Neil Gaiman.) Thanks kevin! Lots of people showed up yesterday to celebrate the birthdays of myself and Chris Ewart, also a Nov. 4 baby. Thanks to everybody who came out and also to those who were unable to make it but expressed their regrets.

woot!

2006-11-01T19:27:00.000-08:00

I just received word that my short story "The Dark Part of the Sky" has been accepted for publication in the MWG silver anniversary anthology project (a book-length collection of work by once-members of the Manitoba Writers' Guild published in celebration of the organization's silver anniversary). The book will appear April 2007 from Prairie Fire Press. Great news on an otherwise lackadaisical day!

new blog activity

2006-10-29T17:31:00.000-08:00

I have joined a new blog site: ireadpretty.blogspot.com

Marilyn Manson and Lewis Carroll?

2006-10-18T09:37:00.000-07:00

Marilyn Manson is apparently becoming a film director. Scheduled for 2007 is his first feature, Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll. It is apparently a horror/fantasy/biopic and for it Manson claims to be using some new kind of camera developed for the film and also will be using a magician instead of CGI effects. It all sounds much more interesting that you would normally expect from a shock-rocker-turned-director.

J.S. Mill on poetry... note the date!

2006-10-09T10:11:00.000-07:00

It has often been asked, What is Poetry? And many and various are the answers which have been returned. The vulgarest one of all — one with which no person possessed of the faculties to which poetry addresses itself can ever have been satisfied — is that which confounds poetry with metrical composition; yet to this wretched mockery of a definition many have been led back by the failure of all their attempts to find any other...

the word ‘poetry’ imports something quite peculiar in its nature; something which may exist in what is called prose as well as in verse; something which does not even require the instrument of words, but can speak through the other audible symbols called musical sounds, and even through the visible ones which are the language of sculpture, painting, and architecture

John Stuart Mill, "Thoughts on Poetry and its Varieties", 1833

Why I Love Horace

2006-10-07T20:37:00.000-07:00

A lawyer, a mediocre pleader of causes, may fall short ... yet have value: but mediocrity in poets, no man, god or bookseller will accept ... The sensible fear to touch, they flee, a crazy poet, as when the evil itch, or jaundice, plagues someone, or fanatical delusions, or plain lunacy ...

He, inspired, goes wandering off, spouting his verses, and if like a fowler intent on blackbirds, he falls into a well, or a pit, however much he cries: 'Help me, citizens!' none will bother to pull him out. If anyone did choose to help, and let down a rope, I'd say: 'Who knows if he didn't do that on purpose, and doesn't want to be saved?'

Clinton hitting back

2006-09-26T21:20:00.000-07:00

derek turned me on to this video... simply fascinating. it's especially interesting to me the way that Clinton insists on identifying the context surrounding the discussion.

Strings & Things

2006-09-17T15:04:00.000-07:00

Because my Stephen King (Dark Tower) books have not yet arrived, I have decided to spend my spare time learning theoretical physics.

When I tell people things like this they look at me strangely. Specifically, I am trying to gain a basic comprehension of space-time and string theory. At the moment I am reading Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time which has been collecting dust on my shelf for some time. After that, I am going to read The Elegant Universe by Brian Greene. I got turned onto this book by watching documentaries on YouTube. If you search for "Elegant Universe" at www.youtube.com you should be able to see them yourself.

i-Robot Poetry by Jason Christie

2006-09-12T22:21:00.000-07:00

Jason Christie's new book is almost out, and can be ordered here.

You can read about it here.

And don't forget to watch the TRAILER (that's right, his book has a trailer) here.

Whitewall of Sound #35

2006-09-09T11:52:00.000-07:00

I published two concrete poems in the new issue of Whitewall of Sound. You can find more information about the issue, which is a CD-ROM magazine, here. I'm very proud to be included alongside many superstars of the form, and also some personal friends who do excellent work, like derek beaulieu, jason christie, and kevin mcpherson eckhoff.

If on a winter's night a traveler

2006-09-06T21:59:00.000-07:00

Life has been stressful and annoying lately, but on the bright side I just received a copy of Italo Calvino's If on a winter's night a traveler which I am very excited to read one day soon. It contains the greatest first paragraph of any book I am aware of:

You are about to begin reading Italo Calvino's new novel, If on a winter's night a traveler. Relax. Concentrate. Dispel every other thought. Let the world around you fade. Best to close the door; the TV is always on in the next room. Tell the others right away, "No, I don't want to watch TV!" Raise your voice -- they won't hear you otherwise -- "I'm reading! I don't want to be disturbed!" Maybe they haven't heard you, with all that racket; speak louder, yell: "I'm beginning to read Italo Calvino's new novel!" Or if you prefer, don't say anything; just hope they'll leave you alone.

Idlewild

2006-09-01T09:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen the Outkast movie yet, but why does everybody hate the new Outkast album? It's excellent. It's just not hip-hop. Which is why Outkast is so great -- they have never focused on fulfilling expectations, just on delivering great music in large doses. So three cheers for Outkast -- the most reliable, inventive musicians of the past ten years.

Haiku Horoscopes

2006-08-31T09:41:00.000-07:00

Some people don't realize it, but I write a weekly humour column called Haiku Horoscopes. Anyway, one of my goals this year is to increase my syndication (the online site archives columns that are over a year old, with new ones running in print).

So do me a favour. Post and let me know the names of decent little weekly magazines near you. Places that are cool enough to maybe want a fun, irreverent little humour column. I am currently running in Uptown (Winnipeg) and used to run in VUE weekly (Edmonton) but VUE pulled the column -- apparently Edmontonians were confused about how to apply these horoscopes to their daily lives. At least some of them -- I've heard from many who regret the loss of the column, so maybe I'll see if SEE is interested. (VUE are still good people though, super-nice to me while I was writing for them.) Anyway, let me know about those weeklies. I want names and cities, and websites if possible, anywhere people read English.

under review

2006-08-23T20:53:00.000-07:00

A flattering and very astute review of the chapbook I co-wrote with derek beaulieu has appeared on Geof Huth's blog.

more Spambot literature

2006-08-23T14:30:00.000-07:00

this machine has recombined phrases from D.H. Lawrence's The Plumed Serpent:

There was silence, then the low hum of voices and the sound of laughter.

There was silence, then the low hum of voices and the sound of laughter.

Repellent the strange heaviness, the sinking of the spirit into the earth, like dark water. Some, too shy to come right up, lingered on the nearest benches of the plaza. And when they could not breathe fire of the sun, they said: The sun is angry. A panic fear, a senseof devilment and horror thick in the night air. The man on the hill said: I am Quetzalcoatl, who breathed moisture on your dry mouths.

The Indians had come in from all the villages, and from far across the lake. The man at the drum lifted up his voice in a wild, blind song. The man on the hill said: I am Quetzalcoatl, who breathed moisture on your dry mouths.

Bone triumphs in me, my heart is a dry gourd.

And Kate turned to the darkness of the lake.

But she heard the answer away back in her soul, like a far-off mocking-bird at night.

She did not know the face of the man whose fingers she held.

It was Saturday, and Sunday morning was market. It is I, the star, midway between the darkness and the rolling of the sun.

The clutching throb of gratification as the knife strikes in and the blood spurts out!

It was like a darkly glowing, vivid nucleus of new life.

When blue morning came they would cheer up.

The whole village was in that state of curious, reptile apprehension which comes over dark people.

Beside him stood another man holding a banner that hung from a light rod. Kate could see nothing for the mass of men in big hats. It was she who lifted the motionless hand of the man in her own, shyly, with a sudden shy snatching. They were the irrepressible boot-blacks, who swarm like tiresome flies in a barefooted country.

But the police in most countries are never present save where there is no trouble.

And perhaps it is this ponderous repudiation of the modern spirit which makes Mexico what it is.

Lit-Spam

2006-08-23T09:41:00.000-07:00

I received this spam recently. It's brilliant -- the machine has recombined sentences and phrases from Lucy Maude Montgomery's 1926 book The Blue Castle to create an entirely new text. It's surprisingly cohesive and interesting. I've cleaned up the machine errors which moved letters out of their places, and double-spaced paragraphs, but otherwise this is unedited, poetry created from a source text (http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks02/0200951.txt) by a computer program. It's not genius, but it IS a significant improvement on the original text.

In her heart she thought unashamedly: I wish Olive could know that Allan Tierney wanted to paint me.

Your eyes look like burnt holes in a blanket.

Bring no more of that devilish stuff here, he had ordered briefly. Not come home at all for meals if you wanted to.

With murky red sunsets flaming in smoky crimson behind the westering hills.

Valancy went up the rock steps and into the house. And she did not want him to be the least unhappy.

Days with a high-sprung sky of flawless turquoise.

What have I done that deserved a slam like that? You know I've often told you it was distracting.

The air was so crisp and clear that it was half intoxicating. Valancy still strove blindly to push him away. The woods will have their own way even with those obvious dandelions. Barney, I thought you were dead, she whispered. After two years of the Klondike did you think a baby storm like this could get me?

She made him stand still on his snowshoes while she repeated it. The air was so crisp and clear that it was half intoxicating.

Days with a high-sprung sky of flawless turquoise. Valancy still strove blindly to push him away.

Barney went into Bluebeard's Chamber and shut the door. Valancy turned sick before the horror of it.

Looks exactly like a picture-book, doesn't it?

To her delight, Barney gave her a necklace of pearl beads.

We must not commit the desecration of tramping through there. In short, they've no secrets, said Barney.

Never had she imagined anything so splendid. They left the doors open, and Banjo and Good Luck came and went at pleasure. Once or twice night overtook them, too far from their Blue Castle to get back.

That sounds John Fosterish, teased Valancy.

Dawdle over meals as long as you wanted to. She had no desire to peer into the locked chambers of Barney's house of life.

Today it is queen of the wild places and it is always today in the woods.

I wonder if John Foster ever spent a winter in Mistawis, said Valancy.

The sweetest sound she had ever heard was Lady Jane's clatter through the woods when Barney returned. Valancy still strove blindly to push him away. You are too hard on John Foster, said Valancy severely. Luckily Banjo got out from under in time, his whiskers bristling with indignation. He stood up, without looking at Valancy, and said casually: I suppose we'd better be hiking back.

She looked at Barney, hunched up beside her. Valancy had only one unhappy night that winter.

why write?

2006-08-19T17:00:00.000-07:00

"Of all the ways of acquiring books, writing them oneself is regarded as the most praiseworthy method. Writers are really people who write books not because they are poor, but because they are dissatisfied with the books which they could buy but do not like." Walter Benjamin

Tupac is alive! (like JFK)

2006-08-19T10:49:00.000-07:00

I've been doing two things during all of my work breaks -- listening to Tupac Shakur or watching Dave Chappelle. Both are highly recommended. Even the whitest man in the world (me) can enjoy either. So it's beautiful when the two come together. Like this:

Snakes on a Plane

2006-08-19T01:02:00.000-07:00

There are snakes on the plane. Snakes on crack.

The movie was insane. It's not that it's even that great -- it's not that it's even particularly special -- it's that it has been so overhyped, that the premise was recognized instantly over a year ago as so ridiculously bad, that seeing Snakes on a Plane is like going to a party. A party with snakes. There were people throwing rubber snakes around, screaming out jokes, and yelling right along with Samuel L. Jackson when he informed the world that he was sick of those snakes on that plane. This is less a movie than a drinking game. I wasn't even drinking anything, and it was a blast.

So if you like snakes on planes, go see this movie. If snakes on planes aren't your cup of venomous tea, well, better stay home and watch Oprah.

That is all.

The Wisdom of Samuel L. Jackson

2006-08-17T17:52:00.000-07:00

A brilliant quote from SLJ (itself quoted from Wikipedia):

On June 3, 2006, Samuel L. Jackson said, while presenting the award for best movie at the MTV Movie Awards, "I'm here tonight to present the award everyone's been waiting for: best movie. Now, this award holds a special place in my heart because next year I'll be winning it for Snakes on a Plane. Now I know, I know that sounds cocky, but I don't give a damn. I am guaranteeing that Snakes on a Plane will win best movie next year. Does not matter what else is coming out. The New James Bond... no snakes in that! Ocean's 13... where my snakes at? Shrek the Third... green, but not a snake. No movie shall triumph over Snakes on a Plane. Unless I happen to feel like making a movie called Mo' Motha-fuckin' Snakes on Mo' Motha-fuckin' Planes."

Harrowdown Hill

2006-08-16T22:18:00.000-07:00

Posting twice today, perhaps this is my posting for the month. I post more when I am busy because I like to nose around for new things on my breaks. Spent the day doing small business errands and tomorrow will be back to work on Kanada, after a hiatus while working on the samurai film. Also preparing an AFA grant to do a complete re-envisioning of the When I Am Hell poetry collection, now titled The Politics of Knives.

Recently, Thom Yorke put out a solo album which is actually quite good. Somehow it is very mellow and yet furious. Anyway, my favourite track is a song called "Harrowdown Hill" which is about Dr. David Kelly.

I just found the video for the track on YouTube, and thought I would share it. It is quite an interesting video, from a filmmaking perspective, in that it incorporates quite a few different formal techniques into a fairly cohesive project whose core ideas slowly bleed out from a rather benign introduction. Very poignant and understated, much like the song itself. I've tried to embed the video within this post, so if you can't see it, one of us sucks.

Samurai, Outkast, Stephen King, oh my!

2006-08-15T22:16:00.000-07:00

a few things:

Today I finished the first draft of Samurai on 47th, or, as Dave and I like to call it, 7 Breaths. This is a feature screenplay my friend David Navratil and I have co-written for Winnipeg director/producer Joseph Novak. This is the fourth feature script we have written for Joe. The others are Son of the Storm, Way of the Samurai and Yakuza. The first attracted the attention of Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, who you might remember from such films as Mortal Kombat, Rising Sun, Elektra, Memoirs of a Geisha and a bunch of other stuff. He actually signed on to the latter two, but long story short, the films languish unmade. I am thinking about petitioning for them to be made into graphic novels, but we'll see. Maybe if I have more time one day. Anyway, cross your fingers on this one -- it would be nice to have some money in my pocket.

The New Outkast album can be heard, in its entirety, here: http://www.myspace.com/outkast. I think it's incredibly cool of Outkast to offer the album for listening. It's not Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, but it's pretty solid.

In case you have been living in a cave, Stephen King completed the Dark Tower , a seven-book series which he began publishing in 1982 and finished publishing in 2004. I have been a fan of Stephen King for some time -- though many of my writer friends will undoubtably claim otherwise, I will argue up and down that King is a good writer (this isn't to say that he hasn't published his fair share -- and someone else's besides -- of crap). Anyway, I have decided to read this series in its entirety. I read the first four books before King started saying he would likely die before he ever finished it, then gave it up for dead. (The first four books were published between 1982 and 1997, and the latter three published from 2003-2004.) So I am looking forward to this as a break from my studying-reading. I recommend you also read the books. We can then talk about how great they are or how much they suck, whichever the case may be. At any rate, whether you like sci-fantasy, fantasy, horror, westerns, or metafictional literature, this series is for you. Oh, also if you want to read something that is about 4000 pages long.