Leacock quotes

Re-reading the Canadian classic Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town by Stephen Leacock. A few choice quotes:

I don't say that there's no justification for [suicide]. There often is. Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances upon the concertina, will admit that there are some lives which ought not to be continued, and that even suicide has its brighter aspects. (135)

So they had the ice cream, and the poet ate it in buckets-ful. Poets always do. They need it. (139)

And my personal favourite, given my current course of study:

The meaning of this degree [PhD] is that the recipient of instruction is examined for the last time in his life, and is pronounced completely full. After this, no new ideas can be imparted to him. (viii)